I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM WOOLWORTHS

Great laugh.......thanks Sly...

Sylvester Wrote:

---

> Yesterday I was at my local Woolworths store
> buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal
> pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman
> behind me asked if I had a dog.
>
> What did she think I had an elephant? So, since
> I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I
> told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
> starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I
> probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in
> hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms
> before I woke up in intensive care with tubes
> coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
> arms.
>
>
> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
> and that the way that it works is to load your
> pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or
> two every time you feel hungry. The food is
> nutritionally complete so it works well and I was
> going to try it again. (I have to mention here
> that practically everyone in queue was now
> enthralled with my story.)
>
> Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive
> care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her
> no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish
> Setter's arse and a car hit me.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
> heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now
> banned from Woolworths.
>
> Better watch what you ask retired people. They
> have all the time in the world to think of daft
> things to say.

I was at Woolworths yesterday...didnt see you

Brilliant absolutely Brilliant

ive just been banned from Boylesports..
wankers