Worldwide Outsourcing contract given to P

i understand that a worldwide racing consortium has been awarded to P .

The main objectives of the contract are to supply professional services on :

How to fck up Night Racing so that it no longer becomes viable offering and as such is terminated?
How to close race tracks without much oversight or forward planning but keep ur job at the same time?
how to build sand tracks that even camels can't race on and then blame lack of participation from other entities for its failure?
How to build state of the art Polly tracks and then run solid cement paths next to the track and get away with safety compliance?
how to run online Gambling website on a entry level computer and then complain when users report slow connectivity or no connectivity at all and still keep your job?
How to run Off course totes that even Illegal Sheen owners go Fck no we not going in there ?
how to not market ur primary business to a wide audience and then complain that it is run as a loss making entity?

i think they are gonna be awesome at this contract.